This is a tool for thinking into and through the children's safety and well-being within the family. When you have clearly written worry statements and corresponding safety goals, replace the generic safety scale at the bottom of the map with a 0-10 scale for each worry and goal statement.
At each family meeting find out where everyone is at on each safety scale. Find out what makes everyone's number as high as it is and add newly identified strengths to the strength column of the map. Brainstorm small next steps that might move people higher on the scales and put these steps into the what do we need to do column of the map.
In subsequent family meetings, don't get caught up in whether or not previously identified small next steps have been taken. If they have been taken, or a different step was taken instead, and anyone has moved higher on any safety scale, just add newly identified strengths to the map, brainstorm small next steps once again, and update the map with the newest ideas for small next steps. In the unlikely event no steps have been taken and nobody has moved higher on any safety scale, you can still look for new ideas for small next steps and/or see if you can break the previously identified small next steps down into smaller steps.
Few people will ever honestly get as high as a 10 on these safety scales. It's in our nature to leave room for improvement. As family strengths grow and numbers on safety scales get higher, spend less time in family meetings and more time having family get togethers, dinners, picnics, and time at the park, beach, sledding hill or wherever else the family enjoys gathering.
It's almost as if these words from Starhawk were written to inspire safety networks. “We are all longing to go home to some place we have never been — a place, half-remembered, and half-envisioned we can only catch glimpses of from time to time. Community. Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak without having the words catch in our throats. Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power. Community means strength that joins our strength to do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold us when we falter. A circle of healing. A circle of friends. Someplace where we can be free.”
Andrew Turnell and Starhawk were both in a Master's Program in Spirituality with Matthew Fox. The Signs of Safety Map was developed after studying Fox's book, Original Blessing.