Most healthy people are attracted to children in a good way. Think about the last time you saw someone bring a baby into a room full of people. Remember how quickly people lined up to hold the baby? When children are traumatized they sometimes develop the capacity to draw out this natural attraction, along with our own protective instincts, at a level that puts even the cutest baby to shame. How do we best use this natural attraction to bring more safe and stable adults around children and families?
If these relationships are what best helps children thrive in the face of significant adversity, what impact does having these people around have on the children’s parents? What difference does it make to children when their parents do better? In a world where many of us grow up to be more like our parents than we might like, what sort of parents do we want children to have?
Here are some questions to ask ourselves and others involved with the children to help bring the best people around the family.
1) Who else is worried about this?
2) Who is helpful and supportive?
3) Who is most committed to the children's safety?
4. Who do parents trust the most?
5. When something really good happens in the family, who do family members tell?
6. When they need help, who do family members call?
7. Do any of the children have a parent they don't live with? If so, will the parent get involved in a plan to help keep their child(ren) safe? Who are their relatives or friends and what are they willing to do to help keep the children safe?
8. What help, if any, do the parents need as they contact the possible network members they've identified to ask if they are willing to be part of the children's safety network?
9. Can parents call possible network members right away?
10. How soon can the developing safety network get together?